"less stressful meals"

Every wednesday night, my church offers dinner!!! All I have to do is show up, pay a small fee and its served to me!
Its heavenly.

And it really is no work to me. Especially when Bill isn't home.
Last wednesday was such nights. So, I loaded up the truck with all 5 kiddos...but first, someone let the dog out of the fence, and since he listens "real good" when he is on the run, I had to do a short drive around looking for him. Lucky for him, we found him fast.
I was hungry after all.
Then, we get to the parking lot...and I don't know what it is about the site of that pavement, but all my boys think its an invitation to race. And of course, you can't race without screaming at the top of your lungs. That would just be silly.
And b.c we apparently never work on our "inside" voices at home, that screaming carrys on into the church.
luckily people don't hate us there.
We then proceed to remove our hats, mittens, and coats. And it NEVER fails that we are greeted by the elderly gentleman who loves children but insits on chasing them around. As if my kids need practice at running. So, I am lovingly and calmly and most definatley cursing under my breath, trying to get them all coralled (how in the world do you spell that?!) so we can get in line.
I'm hungry...remember?
We finally do get into line...and no matter how early I get there, its always a 10 minute wait...b.c the food is that good. Luckily, there are all kinds of people who adore my children and love entertaining them by tickeling them and pretend-punching them and throwing them around a bit. This always helps them settle down.

After many agonizing.....ehem...I mean wonderful minutes of wating, we get to the food line.
Now. This is always a little daunting. As I only have 2 hands.
Thankfully, 3 of my children are more than capable of carrying their own plates AND dishing themselves up (now, if they get ouf of the line with a plate of only chips and bread is another story) but the other 2 are NOT capable but THINK they are capable . So, its a battle of not only balancing their plates and mine in my hands...but trying to keep their grubby little paws off the plates.
oh. sorry. was that harsh?
You will have to excuse the tone. I am sweting rediculous amounts of swet at this point in the night. And as I am sitting at my computer reminiscing..I can't help but notice I am clentching my jaw a considerable amount.



I just took a minute to relax. I am back.

So. We are finally thru the food line, which, unfortunately, takes us past the ICE CREAM buffet before we can get to our seats. Lets just say I have become very creative at using all sorts of body parts to direct those wondering children (feet, hips, even my butt come in real handy).

Once we are at our seats, we take up an entire table, so sadly I never get the company of any other adult...but at least we all fit at one so I don't have to straddle two tables....that would just be embaressing.
I get everyone their drink of choice, we play whining chairs (its alot like musical chairs, without the music and with whining. oddly, its not quite as fun) until everyone is satisfied with their eating partner and by the time I sit down to eat...our first cup of milk has spilled.

I would like to just pause and ask...why is it NEVER the WATER that spills???

Anyways, i stand, my hands making a baracade to the milk so it doesn't drip all over the floor, trying to lovingly yell at my older kids to HURRY UP AND GET ME MORE THAN HALF A NAPKIN FOR GOODNESS SAKES!!!

excuse me while I unclentch my jaw again...............................

well. When all is said and done. We have had 2 cups of spilled milk, I have gotten up from my seat to chase down wondering children 732 times, used up about half a pack of family sized napkins and made a few trips to the kitchen for wet washcloths and a few minutes locked in a closet of darkness all by myself. Who cares if all 5 kids are left unattended out in the midst of 300 other people trying to enjoy their meals!!!

shoot. I swore I would never tell anyone that.

As you can see. This is MUCH less stressful than just cooking a blasted meal at home!