love handles

I want to be secure about my body.
I have prayed for YEARS to be ok with my body.
I mean, I want to think about my body the way I think about my nose or my ears or my toes....

meaning, I DON'T think about them at all.

Unfortunately, although I have come a long way in my thoughts in regards to myself....I still have a long ways to go.

I use to be really small.
no tummy.
no back fat.
no love handles.
my arms were toned.
I was just nice looking
=)

of course...I had no idea. I believed I was fat and unattractive.
isn't that sad?

Well, I still am not crazy about my body...
especially since I DO have
a tummy
and back fat
and love handles
and what in the world are toned arms??

But...the wonderful thing is that NOW when I think I am hideous...I recognize it as a LIE.
Before, I thought it was truth.

I KNOW I am not hideous....that doesn't mean my mind doesn't try to convince me otherwise.
but as I said...at least I recognize it as a lie.

So, I am half way there, right?!

I know that this "issue" isn't just my "issue"....and I just felt the need to verbalize it.
for myself.
for you.
for your friend.
I don't really know why, but I learned a long time ago that whenever I keep things inside, they have more control over me

and when I expose them to those around me....the hold this issue has on me is loosened considerably.

I am more than ready to have this hold removed permanently.
And I believe 100% that if I keep seeking HIM in this matter, once He is done teaching me what He needs to teach me in this struggle, I WILL be released.