ella turns 9!

This year we took Ella skiing for the first time for her birthday date!! She was SO SO SO excited. As were we! I have been skiing regularly the past two years. Bill has skiied once and has just taken up snow boarding so it was all up to me to teach her =)

Luckily we have some friends we could borrow some skis from! And my sister in law is a ski instructor so gave me some over the phone pointers (if she wasn't 8 months preggo she would've come to give her a lesson) so I had an idea of where to begin to teach her

We spend the first half hour like this. I'm not gonna lie....I was ready to call it quits! lol

But, we went in to eat dinner and came out all refueled and ready to go

some guy offered to take a picture...he said "oh! what a great family picture! you can send this out for Christmas!" little did he know we were missing 4 more people!

I was told this was the best way to get up the tow rope....for her maybe

man that hurt my back!

It turns out I can ski backwards!

Her and I on the chair lift! She was so excited/scarred

Going down a BIG hill...me going backwards....see her holding my glove? =) She was SO proud of herself after this run!

She spent the rest of the night on the big bunny hill just bombing it...she loved it! She didn't really like messing with stuff like "turning" and "stopping". you know...that stuff that makes up skiing!

Even though Bill isn't in many of the pictures b.c he was too busy still falling all over the hill on his snowboard, we had a blast =)

"less stressful meals"

Every wednesday night, my church offers dinner!!! All I have to do is show up, pay a small fee and its served to me!
Its heavenly.

And it really is no work to me. Especially when Bill isn't home.
Last wednesday was such nights. So, I loaded up the truck with all 5 kiddos...but first, someone let the dog out of the fence, and since he listens "real good" when he is on the run, I had to do a short drive around looking for him. Lucky for him, we found him fast.
I was hungry after all.
Then, we get to the parking lot...and I don't know what it is about the site of that pavement, but all my boys think its an invitation to race. And of course, you can't race without screaming at the top of your lungs. That would just be silly.
And b.c we apparently never work on our "inside" voices at home, that screaming carrys on into the church.
luckily people don't hate us there.
We then proceed to remove our hats, mittens, and coats. And it NEVER fails that we are greeted by the elderly gentleman who loves children but insits on chasing them around. As if my kids need practice at running. So, I am lovingly and calmly and most definatley cursing under my breath, trying to get them all coralled (how in the world do you spell that?!) so we can get in line.
I'm hungry...remember?
We finally do get into line...and no matter how early I get there, its always a 10 minute wait...b.c the food is that good. Luckily, there are all kinds of people who adore my children and love entertaining them by tickeling them and pretend-punching them and throwing them around a bit. This always helps them settle down.

After many agonizing.....ehem...I mean wonderful minutes of wating, we get to the food line.
Now. This is always a little daunting. As I only have 2 hands.
Thankfully, 3 of my children are more than capable of carrying their own plates AND dishing themselves up (now, if they get ouf of the line with a plate of only chips and bread is another story) but the other 2 are NOT capable but THINK they are capable . So, its a battle of not only balancing their plates and mine in my hands...but trying to keep their grubby little paws off the plates.
oh. sorry. was that harsh?
You will have to excuse the tone. I am sweting rediculous amounts of swet at this point in the night. And as I am sitting at my computer reminiscing..I can't help but notice I am clentching my jaw a considerable amount.



I just took a minute to relax. I am back.

So. We are finally thru the food line, which, unfortunately, takes us past the ICE CREAM buffet before we can get to our seats. Lets just say I have become very creative at using all sorts of body parts to direct those wondering children (feet, hips, even my butt come in real handy).

Once we are at our seats, we take up an entire table, so sadly I never get the company of any other adult...but at least we all fit at one so I don't have to straddle two tables....that would just be embaressing.
I get everyone their drink of choice, we play whining chairs (its alot like musical chairs, without the music and with whining. oddly, its not quite as fun) until everyone is satisfied with their eating partner and by the time I sit down to eat...our first cup of milk has spilled.

I would like to just pause and ask...why is it NEVER the WATER that spills???

Anyways, i stand, my hands making a baracade to the milk so it doesn't drip all over the floor, trying to lovingly yell at my older kids to HURRY UP AND GET ME MORE THAN HALF A NAPKIN FOR GOODNESS SAKES!!!

excuse me while I unclentch my jaw again...............................

well. When all is said and done. We have had 2 cups of spilled milk, I have gotten up from my seat to chase down wondering children 732 times, used up about half a pack of family sized napkins and made a few trips to the kitchen for wet washcloths and a few minutes locked in a closet of darkness all by myself. Who cares if all 5 kids are left unattended out in the midst of 300 other people trying to enjoy their meals!!!

shoot. I swore I would never tell anyone that.

As you can see. This is MUCH less stressful than just cooking a blasted meal at home!

read my warning before you read. Especially if you're a man

warning: this post will use words that you may not be comfortable with. Words such as bladder, uterus.....I wont expand. YET. But know, you've been warned

It turns out having 5 kids, 3 of them LONG HARD labors, can cause your insides to fall out!

Its true. That's where I am.

I saw my dr/surgeon yesterday b.c I have been having ridiculous lack of ability to control my urine. I mean, like, I pee my pants. Often. Its like my water breaks over and over...you know...zero control.

It turns out I have whats called a prolapsed bladder, uterus and rectum. I have 3 hernias that need to be repaired. In order to do this, she will do a hysterectomy (leave my ovaries) so she can use the muscles? from it to put my bladder and rectum back in place.

I am doing 100% ok about having a hysterectomy. I have heard its an easy surgery to recover from. I had already processed whether I was done having kids when I had my tubes tied after having Tad. I figure, I don't use my uterus anymore...I don't even really know what it looks like..I can do without it!

The thing I WASN'T expecting was the limitations the bladder/rectum repair would cause.
For the rest of my life.

I will be restricted to lifting a max of 20 lb for life.
crazy!
And NO running.
Ever again!




When the dr told me this, I cried
and cried
and cried some more

Then I called Bill to tell him...and I cried again

And then I called my mom (this time out of the clinic) and I sobbed.

I am REALLY sad about this (hence all the crying)
But even a day after finding this out, I am feeling much better about it.

There is still SO much I CAN do.

I have been advised by many people to get a second opinion...and I probablly will. But, the research I have done, anyone else who has had ALL of these things done have had the same restrictions.

I am definately grieving a loss. I am ok with being sad about this. I am ok that its "just running" and yet its kind of breaking my heart.
But, I also know that sooner than later, I will be ok about not running.

I have 2 half marathons before my surgery (which is 4/2) so I will at least leave my joys of running behind by going out with a bang!

(*I am not sure why some of my writing is highlighted yellow. I couldn't get it off!)

running

In just over 2 weeks I am running my first HALF MARATHON!! Its so crazy that I am doing this b.c I am NOT a runner. I mean..I guess, technically now I AM a runner...but I am pretty sure I will aways think of myself as a non runner.

I have not been nervous at all...until today! For whatever reason I suddenly am wondering if I am prepared enough to do it! I have ran up to 10 miles (and oddly enough, loved it) and I have one more long run planned this week...so I "should" be fine....but I still have butterflies today!

Could it possibly have anything to do with my children always being SO willing to point out my imperfections?! ;)

As of today, every single one of them has officially put me down.
Tad...my TWO year old...pointed at me while I was getting dressed and said "big butt"!!!!

oh my. Doesn't he understand how hard I have been working to get it DOWN to this big?!
And even more than that...does he (and the rest of them) really think its appropriate to, first RUIN my body and then put me down for the way it looks?!?!?

seriously.

=)

I'm totally kidding.
Well, kind of.
Ok, maybe not at all

But...back to my half marathon! How many of you are "not runners but it turns out maybe you actually are runners"?

My favorite people!

I'm going to try really hard to blog more than every 2 months ;)

I don't have time to do much today...but ya can't ever go wrong with a photo, right?! Here is my family!

I have no title. =)

oh my gosh! hello!! Is there anyone out there anymore???

If so, you may have noticed that I have been gone for QUITE sometime.

Without boring you with all the details, I have had a rough couple of months. For lots of reasons.

There was lots of crying and laying around in my pjs for days on end. Lots of cereal dinners and stinky kids (you know, b.c I didn't have the energy to bathe them)

BUT...I am MUCH better now!

In fact, just to show you how far I have come let me tell you a little story.

A few weeks ago, I had a wedding to attend. Not only as the photographer. But as a guest. One of my cousins was getting married.

You see, photographing a wedding is one thing.

Being a guest is one thing.

Being BOTH is a WHOLE other story.

If I am photographing, I hardly care what I am wearing, as long as its comfortable.

If I am a guest, I hardly care about comfort, as long as I am CUTE!

Trying to combine these two is very exhausting.

You don't believe me?? Give it a try!

I finally found a great outfit that was both adorable and comfortable.

But, now what to do with my hair?

You see, a ponytail in my adorable, albeit comforatble, outfit just wouldn't sufice.

So...I decided that this would be the day to drag out my teeny, tiny curling iron and curl my hair with lots of ringlets.

Cute, right?

Yes, but I forget that it takes at least half a day to do this.

Oh, did I mention that this wedding was on a Friday?

Which shouldn't be a big deal, since I do everything with my kids, but for some reason, trying to get ready for a wedding without Bill around makes me kind of crazy.

Plus, I was trying to look good!

Oh, AND, we were spending the night away from home that night which meant I had to pack for all of us.

Oh, AND we had two (yes TWO) parties to attend the next day which meant I need appropriate attire and gifts to come with us.

Oh, AND my kids needed to be at the wedding for 5.2 seconds to have a picture taken with my grandparents (this really was cute...my grandparents, with their 21 great grandchildren and 3 youngest grandkids!) but...again, this means I needed appropriate attire for them.

And, I needed to leave the house before lunch and get my kids to the sitters and needed to grab lunch on the way.

Do you see the dilema?

Well, I was handling all of this like a champ (just take my word for it. you don't need to ask my kids. I promise I was doing great)

Finally, running behind...which in the world of trying to get to a wedding on time is NOT ok... we are all about to load up into the vehicle when just like that my DOG GOT LOOSE!!!

I was standing on my sidewalk, pretty ringlets blowing in the wind, camera equipment hanging off one side of me and clothes off the other when I saw that mutt (sorry, I really do love him) run like a flash, right past me, out of the fence and down the street.

I STOMPED my feet and THREW my purse on the ground and SCREAMED "are you freakin kidding me?!?!?!"

I threw all my stuff in the truck

got everyone buckled in

and started down the road looking for my dog.

He is SO lucky that I found him 2 seconds later.

So, once again, we were loaded up, ready to go. I made it about 5 minutes from home when I realized I had forgotten the directions.

Not caring one bit about my earlier tantrum, I had yet another one...this time banging my hands on the steering wheel over and over until I couldn't anymore b.c I need to turn it. You know, to go back home and get my directions.

Well! (sitting up a bit straighter, adjusting my clothes and patting my hair) aren't you so impressed with the great strides I have made to be more rational these past months?!

no?

thats ok. At least I am back =)

Tucker- 5 years

my little Tuck Tuck! He is getting so big...although really, still so small =)

I adore him!

Tate- 7 years

This is Teet Teet
as he is known by ALL of his brothers! As if that's what we named him =)

He is getting SO SO tall. He is upt to my chin. Seriously, he is going to be looking me in the eye at the age of 9!

He makes this face all the time....I love it!

he also does this one all the time too....not sure how I feel about this one =)